Avoid The Misconception Of Gaining Self Confidence
In my daily life I can see many people seeking to gain self confidence. Unfortunately by observing them, I feel that most will not achieve what they want. It doesn’t matter how much effort they put in, what books they read, what strategy they use, or which expert they learned it from.
This is because a lot of people have a misconception about gaining self confidence. To them, it’s you either have confidence or you don’t. They keep seeking for it with the expectation that one day they will finally ‘get’ that unstoppable confidence.
They see confidence like it is a magical object to be obtained. And once they get it, they will be instantly transformed into a different person. A person more capable and courageous. They think that by reading books on confidence, learning techniques, practicing etc, they are bringing themselves closer to the magical object.
Unfortunately many will discover sooner or later that they cannot achieve the kind of supreme level of confidence no matter how hard they try. The reason is simply because of this, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BEING SUPREMELY CONFIDENT!
Most people think that the great successful individuals in the world are just naturally supremely confident. People like Tony Robbins, Donald Trump, Tom Cruise etc. Many think if only they have the confidence of these individuals, then they can be just as successful. They think that successful people are naturally confident and 100% sure of themselves.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Regardless of how successful someone is, or how confident they seem to be, no one is without doubts. Everyone has moments where they feel unsure, weak and not confident. So now the question is, if all those successful people have doubts and insecurities like the rest of us, how are they able to be so successful and seem full of confidence?
Well, they may not have that supreme confidence that many assume they have, but they do have one thing that sets them apart from everyone else.
The thing that makes the difference and sets them apart is the knowledge that there is no such thing as having a supremely confident state. They know that there will always be doubts, uncertainties etc. So unlike many others, they don’t wait till they are confident enough. They don’t wait till they are sure of success. This is because they know that day never comes.
Instead, they take action in spite of the uncertainties. They will do as much preparation as they can, and then they go for it. They never seek to be 100% certain first. If they did, they would probably end up never attempting anything at all.
Knowing this is very important as it helps break the barrier to gaining self confidence. When we realize that even successful people have uncertainties and fears, we know that we are just like them. That proves that whatever they achieved can be achieved by us as well.
Know that we will never be free of doubt. We will never reach the point where we’re totally ready and confident. Gaining self confidence is through doing and not preparing.